Believe it or not, I've had my heart broken three times in my lifetime. It came as a result of cheating in the relationship in which I, you know, I was in and gave it my all. The betrayal you feel when someone you love and who promised to love you back, betrays your trust is massive.
Majority of adults have been through this before, but if you have a broken heart right now, as we speak, you've come to the right place. Now, although I can't claim that at the time I was experiencing my personal broken heart, I may have dealt with it effectively, I do know that I wasn't going to let it get the best of me. So trust me, I've been there.
And in this article today, I'll give you five ways to effectively deal with a broken heart. These are not going to be quick solutions, but they'll definitely get you to where you need to be emotionally. So make sure you read till the end.
So, according to a study published in the Journal of Social, Psychological and Personality Science, the average person will experience three breakups in their lifetime. You heard me right. One, two, and three minimum, right? With women experiencing more emotional pain after a breakup than men.
This is, however, not to assume that men don't experience pain at all. No matter your gender, though, dealing with a broken heart can be a challenging and emotional experience. There are, however, things that you can do to make the situation easier, and I'll jump into them right now.
The first thing you want to do is to allow yourself to feel your emotions. A very good way to deal with any problem is to first acknowledge that it's there. There are too many people who are being pushed to engage in unconventional things, all in a bid to get over that bad feeling.
However, the first step to healing is to allow yourself to feel every pain. When my heart first got broken, the first thought that came to my mind was to make them pay. I was mad because I felt like I'd invested a lot of my life, my energy, my time, my effort into this relationship that went nowhere.
And for it to end the way that it did was a tough pill for me to swallow. You see, it's natural to feel sadness, anger, and other emotions. Allow yourself to experience them all, but you need to remember to process them in a healthy way.
Processing these negative emotions in a healthy way can help you manage your feelings, reduce stress, and promote overall well being. How do you do this? By identifying the emotion that you're feeling. Is it anger? Is it sadness? Is it frustration? Anxiety? Is it a combination of all these four things or more? What is it that you're really feeling? Now? Identifying that emotion is the first step to helping you heal.
Allow yourself to experience them fully without trying to push the feelings away or to suppress them. It's important. And then find healthy ways to express those emotions, such as talking to a trusted friend or if writing is your thing, journaling.
All these things help. Number two. The second best thing you can do for yourself is to practice self care.
Now, your first reaction is you're probably going to want to curl up and die depending on how involved in the relationship you were. And as that might seem like the best option right now, trust me when I say the sun will shine again. And I don't mean to be philosophical, but the kind of things my heart has been through and survived are the kind of things reserved for movies.
You may find it hard to believe, and I'm not actually trying to, through this article, seek sympathy from everyone. I'm merely stating facts. Because what I went through actually made me stronger in the end and helped me to dodge major, major bullets in my life.
So trust me when I say it's important that you take care of yourself physically and emotionally. I mean, by all means, grieve. Grieve the loss if you must.
Losing someone you love is painful, but it's not the end of the world. So take care of yourself, because you're going to actually need that strength for what lies ahead. Eat nutritious food.
Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, spend time with friends and family who support you. All these things count. Number three.
Find healthy ways to cope. So everyone has different ways of coping with a breakup. Some people find it helpful to write in a journal.
Others may find solace in talking to a therapist, while others may prefer to engage in activities they enjoy. Be mindful, however, of the type of activities that you engage in. Avoid excessive alcohol or drugs.
Even though it may be tempting to turn to these things to help you numb the pain, these are the worst forms of escape and actually can be detrimental to your mental health. I've actually created a personal acronym to help you cope. C stands for cry it out.
Allow yourself to cry and express your emotions. It's natural. It's a healthy way to release pain and grief.
O stands for open up. Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. Sharing your emotions can help you process them and feel less alone in the situation.
P stands for practicing self care. Right? Take care of yourself physically and emotionally, and I mentioned that engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Exercise, meditation, if it's your thing, your hobbies.
And finally, E is to engage in positive self talk, right? Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. It's easy to think there must be something wrong with me. I'm stupid.
Avoid negative self talk and focus on the positive affirmations that build your self esteem and build your self worth. Okay, let's move on. Number four is to reflect on the relationship.
So reflecting on a broken relationship can be a helpful way to gain closure, to learn from your experience, and to move forward. So let me just quickly share a few steps that you can take, right? A. Take time for introspection.
Introspection will help you gain clarity, thinking through everything. What happened, how it happened. It helps.
B. Consider the relationship objectively. I mean, take stock.
Take an honest and objective look at the relationship that just ended, including what worked and what didn't. Try to identify patterns or behaviors that may have contributed to the relationship's end. C practice empathy.
Try to put yourself in your ex's shoes and consider their perspective. This can sometimes help you gain insight into why they behave the way they did. D.
Identify your needs and boundaries. Consider what you need in order to feel fulfilled, happy, secure. E.
Finally, use the experience for personal growth, and this point is critical. Look for opportunities to learn and grow from the experience. Consider what you can take away from the relationship that will help you in future relationships.
It's very important that you don't walk away with baggage from your old relationship. And finally, number five. Take things one day at a time.
Listen, Mariah Carey has a song. Love takes time. Indeed, love takes time to heal when you're hurting.
Healing from a broken heart is a process that takes time. Don't rush or put pressure on yourself to get over it. Everyone's different.
Some people will mourn the loss in a few days and they'll be good to face the world again, while others may take months or even years to get over heartbreak. One favor you can do yourself, though, is to stay off social media. Listen, social media can exacerbate heartbreak.
Researchers found that people who use social media more frequently have a hard time coping with heartbreak, as they may be more likely to compare themselves to their ex partner or see reminders of them online. Take things one day at a time and focus on small steps forward. There's no set time.
Don't feel pressured. All in good time. You'll be able to wake up and not think about this person any longer.
Time is a miracle worker. Trust me. And if this is any consolation, I came across a survey conducted by an online site that talked about how people take an average of eleven weeks to feel better after a breakup and 2 and half months to fully recover. You have time. There's no rush.
Let me wrap up this article. In conclusion, a broken heart is a painful experience that can be difficult to overcome. However, there are many healthy ways to cope with a broken heart and move forward in your life by allowing yourself to grieve, taking care of yourself, seeking support from loved ones, engaging in activities that bring you joy.
You can begin to heal and find happiness again. Remember that everyone's healing journey is unique and it's important to take things one day at a time. If you're struggling to cope with heartbreak, though, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or a therapist for support.
With time and effort, you can mend your broken heart and find a brighter future ahead.