So there's a very interesting phenomenon, if you can call it that, where you realize that when maybe you're trying to get a girl's attention and she's been bluffing you all along and you withdraw, she suddenly comes back. What's all that about? Why does she come back when you decide to give her distance? That's what this article seeks to answer.
All right, so why does she come back when you give her distance? That's the million dollar question. Today I've got a couple of theories or reasons up my sleeve, and if you'll indulge me for the next few minutes, I will be more than happy to break it down.
So let's jump right into number one reason to the first reason they overreacted. So, you know, sometimes when you are actively pursuing a woman and she is spoilt for choice, she can very easily, without too much hustle, disregard you completely, make you feel like you're a pest in her life, make you feel like you are just not worthy of her attention and things of that manner. Now, sometimes when you give her distance, she has that opportunity to really sit down and think and realize that she may not have treated you as well as she ought to have done, and she might be remorseful and want to come back and just make things rise.
Not necessarily because she wants to date you again, but her conscience just keeps having a go at her, and she just needs to come back and make sure that everything's okay before maybe she finally walks for good. All right, the fact that she comes back, note, doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be in a relationship with you. She could just be coming back out of curiosity, which is my point number two.
She doesn't understand why you've stopped pursuing her. She was really excited about all the attention that you were giving her, and suddenly it's not available anymore. So she's back to see what's changed, what happened? Why are you not interested in pursuing her? Is there another woman in your life? Did she overstretch you by playing too hard to get? Now, these are all questions that will be running through her mind.
And therefore, when she comes back into your life, when she revives that dead line to her, it could be purely out of curiosity to see if you're still interested, if you still want her like that. And if she nudges you a little, you would come back and chase her. See, because a lot of women actually like to be chased.
Men like to chase women like to be chased. What can I say?
Let's move along to point number three. Now, there's also this psychological thing that goes on where people want what they can't have. If that thing seems scarce or unavailable, suddenly you tend to want it more.
It's psychological. The whole idea and mentality of scarcity, of being the only one to have exclusive access and that kind of thing. And these are all things that, for instance, even marketers use to promote products and sell their goods because it's so effective.
Let's get into economics a little bit. When you create scarcity, it increases the demand for that product, and the same thing applies here, all right? People want what they can't have. They like that whole thought of having exclusive access and being in the inner group and in the club and being a part of something bigger often than themselves.
And so that whole idea of you just backing down and giving her distance creates that almost lack of supply, and hence demand will shoot up. Go back to your economics class and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Point number four.
Another reason she may be coming back is because you've improved yourself. Maybe she started getting phone calls from your old friends, like, oh, have you seen John of late? Oh my God, he's grown a beard and he's looking all sexy. He went to the gym, he's really worked out.
Lost his pot belly, has a six pack now. Oh my God, you should see him. He looks nothing like what he used to.
When you have witnesses like that in your corner, oh, it is bound to get your ex's attention. Because they're curious. Like, has this person really changed? Is this the same person who didn't want to maybe even change for me that suddenly has put their lives back together and put their lives in order? They are damn curious, and they want to see what's going on with you.
And when you improve yourself, it tells them that, hey, you know, I love myself enough to work on me, to become a better version of me. And if you did not accept who I was prior to this, then you certainly do not deserve me. So they're coming back to see if they could try their hands at getting this new, improved version of you.
Kick her to the curb. We'll move along. Point number five social proof.
Now, social proof is one of the biggest factors we use to determine the value of something or someone. Now, if people around that thing say that this thing is good and they can testify, usually people buy into that kind of thing and the value of that thing goes up. And that's why, for instance, in advertising, word of mouth is such a powerful thing because there are testimonies coming from people, you know, and familiar faces who most likely have your best interest at heart.
And so when it comes to social proof and everybody recognizing that there's something good here john, my ex, is dating this supermodel. All of a sudden, that makes me wonder whether I made a mistake in breaking up with John, to be honest. Because if a supermodel liked him that much, enough to date him and or marry him, there must be something I missed.
Maybe I made a mistake. I've got to go back to John and see if he'll take me back, provided it's not too late, right? And so social proof is very, very powerful. You're able to create scenarios where there are people who are speaking for you, there are people in your life that are validating your social status.
That is one of the reasons why she's coming back. She wants a piece of that pie. Point number six.
Another reason could be that they miss your validation. Now, there's so many good things that they experienced when they were with you. Maybe you made them feel really, really beautiful.
Maybe you made them feel good inside. Maybe you made them feel loved. Maybe you showed them a side of life and just people that they didn't get anywhere else.
Listen, there are plenty of nice things about being in a relationship, including being made to feel important and special by someone who's in love with you. And of course, once you break up, you lose all that. They've moved on to someone else, and they realize that they're not being treated the way that you treated them.
They realize that this thing that you did for them was exclusive and special and unique to you, and they're not going to get it from their current relationship. In such instances. They are definitely, if it's not too late, going to reconsider and come back and see if you will take them because they suddenly realize that there can be only one you.
Now, if you seize contact completely, they're not going to get that validation from you at all. And especially if they go out there and they're not finding someone else to date, they start missing you and they want a piece of that one more time. Point number seven.
Another point is you come across as focused on your life mission. Now when you're not wasting time messaging your ex, most likely she thinks that there might be something big going on in your life or something else taking your attention, whether that thing is positive or negative, something that would advance you or not even creating the illusion that, okay, you left, so be it. Go.
I have other things that can take my time. There's a big enough stimulus to make this girl wonder if they did a good thing by moving away from you because you're so busy, you're not about to chase them. You have your life.
You have things you want to do. So if you reached out to them and they failed to take your hand, life goes on. You move on.
You've not got time for the chase. Life beckons. Your dreams are calling, and you've got to answer that as well.
And, you know, ambition is a really attractive trait because a lot of people are walking around today who don't know what they want to do with their lives. And so if you're someone who just refuses to chase someone, you're trying to reach out, they don't want to reach out or draw closer in return, and you leave it hanging, you create that curiosity gap. Why did he walk away so fast? Why is he not giving me attention anymore? And they will come back looking for your attention.
Don't give it to them. Now, get this. We all want to have a clear and focused path in life, and if she doesn't have any life goals, chances are she's going to run back to you and try to align with what you have and ride on your success.
Point number eight. They're those women who just get jealous of the fact that you did not come chasing after them. They've been playing this hard to get game in their mind so often that it's become a thing.
They're literally obsessed. See, there are lots of people out there who want to have their cake and eat it as well, but we all know that it's absolutely impossible to do so. And even if you think you've gotten away with having your cake and eating it, it's just a matter of time before the owner of a cake knows exactly what you're up to and takes their cake away, figuratively speaking.
Point number nine. They really just love the thrill of the chase. So women like to be chased. Men like to do the chasing.
Looks like that's how things were wired for the sexes. She doesn't necessarily want you, but she doesn't understand why you're not getting in touch. She doesn't understand why you've given her distance.
And so what she does is she gives you herself in small doses. Typical example. You've been trying to let this girl know that you really want to date her.
You want to get to know her. You'd like to take things to the next level. She's been playing hard to get from day one, okay? So you back off one month, two months, three months.
She doesn't hear from you. And then one day, out of the blue, she reaches out and says, I miss you. You haven't found anybody else, or you really, really like this girl.
So that one little thing she sent you suddenly rekindles your love for her, and you start to chase her all over again. And guess what? She goes back into her shell and continues to enjoy the love and the attention that you used to give her prior to giving her a distance. It's not because she wants to date you.
She just likes and loves the feeling of being pursued, being wanted by several men. She probably gets attention from several people. But as soon as one flame is dying, she goes and rekindles it, moves on, rekindles the next, moves on, because she thrives on attention.
She loves the chase. She likes to feel like she's the hottest thing since Swiss cheese. If I were you, with such a woman, once I realized that this is the tangent she's on, drop her like a hot potato.
Tell her that. Jessica, I said she's no good. Anyway, that's it for today.
Thank you very much for reading till the end. I hope you enjoyed the article. Cheers