Lies are things that we encounter every single day from a colleague at work, from a dishonest vendor, from a waiter waitress who tells you there's no change, to the people that we claim to love. Yes, they lie to us as well. And sometimes their lies can be the most painful.
This video seeks to highlight some of the signs that show that someone is lying and what you can do about it. Keep reading.
So what are some of the common signs that your woman is lying to you? She answers questions with questions. Now, I giggle at this one because it's even something that is commonly about, where we say it's a typical humane thing to answer your question with a question.
But this is a little beyond this thing that has become a cultural joke amongst people. When someone is lying, usually they find ways to deflect telling you the truth, to deflect your intense gaze, to deflect your important question, to water it down, and that kind of thing. And the first thing that they tend to do is to respond to your question with a question.
A simple question like, where were you last night? Will get an answer like, what makes you think I was anywhere else? Instead of them actually telling you where exactly they were? Such tactics are usually used to delay and give themselves time to think about an appropriate answer to give you. And trust me, something as little as 6 seconds could be enough time for anyone to cook up a lie. And this typically happens when you take the person by surprise, and they weren't expecting that question that you just asked. They would answer your question with a question
Number two. They give you vague answers, and so you pose a simple question to them, a question as simple as, once again, who were you with last night? Instead of them mentioning the person's name, they say a friend. Meanwhile, you most likely know this friend that they were hanging out with.
So why is it so difficult for them not to just mention this person's name? I mean, it's different if this is a friend. You actually do not know anything about friend you've never met, probably never even heard of, then it makes sense to say a friend. And even at that point when they respond a friend, it should quickly follow up with, my friend's name is, say, David or John or Jesse, whatever the name is, right? But when they try to go vague with you, once again, it's their own way of sort of buying time to think through an appropriate answer to give you.
And get this when someone offers you very few details or barely anything at all, it's because they really do not want you to know what's going on or what happened. Giving vague answers is almost like pouring fuel on a flame. It's only going to elicit your partner to ask even more questions.
And if you give vague answers, it's very obvious that you're withholding information that you know your partner may not necessarily like if they found out. Now, the next point I'd like to highlight is they take time to respond, and this typically happens when they're not in front of you. Maybe it's a message that was sent via text to query them, find out where they are, what they're up to, that kind of thing.
Just inquire because something generally felt off to you and you needed answers, and it takes them a significant time to get back to you. There are people who would even push the envelope a little bit and not respond to you at all and come back home and make it seem like, why are you always the one? Why are you always asking me questions? Why don't you trust me? Blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, they have used the last half hour, one and a half hours to think through exactly what they are going to say to you to diffuse the situation.
Simple questions to your wife or girlfriend should not be something that will take 1 hour or more to revert on. I mean, it's different if she never saw your message, but sometimes you're able to tell that she's actually read the message, but just chose to ignore you.
Another thing when you want to really tell if someone is lying is their body language. Look at their body language.
Usually when people are lying to you, they can't look you in the eye. They blink almost as if to shut out that lie at the point that they say it. And really, if you look at it, their bodies begin to show signs of stress.
Be observant. Nonverbal cues usually speak the loudest. They might blink more often.
They might put their hands in their pockets or cross their arms, which is a defensive position or stance when it comes to body language if you know anything about it, and things like that. So really pay attention to things that just seem a little off and a little unusual. It's usually a sign that whatever they're saying to you is untrue and they're just trying to distract themselves long enough to believe the lie that they just told you as well.
Another big sign that there's a lie is that their story keeps changing. Sometimes when you say one lie, you need to say another lie to keep the first lie intact. And then you just keep telling one lie after the other, after the other, after the other.
And sometimes it's hard keeping up with your lies. And so they will tell you one story that suddenly didn't turn out to really be that story. It was like just a portion of it.
And then you find out, oh wait, things didn't actually end the way that they said it would. It ended in a completely different way that you will not approve of. When their stories keep changing, they can't stay consistent and just stick to one thing.
It's an obvious sign that there's something they're hiding from you and they could possibly be lying to you about something. Don't forget, lying isn't just watching someone in the face and telling them a lie. A lie of omission is also a lie where they leave out certain important occurrences or activities that could make you raise an eyebrow.
That is also a lie, at least in my books. And finally, one of the biggest things that people do when they're lying is they never give you access to their phones. People have bonded with their phones so much that it's hard to actually detach people from their phones these days.
There are very few people out there who can drive out of home, realize they've left their phones, and not bother to go back for it. Our phones have become our little shadows that go with us everywhere we go. They also hold deep secrets about our thoughts, about other people, about just our feelings and our insecurities, as well as an avenue to lie, cheat, and just pretend to be better than you are.
Phones hold a million secrets. And when you get to that point where your girlfriend, your wife, generally your partner, just cannot seem to let their phone lie there or ever pass on their phone to you for you to use. For even something as simple as playing a game on or making a phone call on, you should know that that is a really big sign that there's something wrong, something out of the ordinary is happening, and you need to really pay attention.
This whole phone thing is not new. And that's why I kept this pointer for last. When your partner can't simply even hand you over your phone or tell you their password, there obviously is something that they do not want you to know.
So what do you do? When you find out that someone is lying to you, someone you really care about is lying to you. There are a few things I have here. The first thing is to figure out why they're lying.
What's going on? Are they unhappy? Are they sad in the relationship with you? Is it something that's going to really, really hurt you completely, change your life? I mean, figure out why they choose to lie as opposed to telling you the truth. Sometimes people believe that the truth hurts even more than a lie. I disagree.
A lie usually was harsh, hurtful at the most as soon as it's dropped, as soon as it's exposed. But in the long run, people will thank you for being truthful to them as opposed to lying to them through your teeth. Number two, when it comes to lying, one thing you want to do is to trust your instincts.
You know, half the time when you feel it, it probably is what you're thinking. If you think your partner is cheating. Most likely they are.
Even if they're not. They might be sort of spinning that web or being or someone is busily spinning a web, trying to get them to step out of your relationship. I'm not saying be that paranoid person who doesn't even give your partner space to breathe, no, but I am saying that sometimes our instincts just kick in.
Something tells you move from this space and the minute you move, another thing happens in that very spot that you stood. It's important that you're in tune with yourself and the universe has ways of just bringing information to you and whispering to you. And when the universe whispers, make sure you're listening.
Another thing you want to do when someone lies is to challenge their lies. Sometimes all those lies need to fall apart is to confront them with the truth. And you can only know the truth when you have figured things out yourself.
When I say challenge their lies, I mean bring solid and sound reasoning to the conversation. Let them know that whatever it is that they just said to you does not add up. And back it up with arguments why you say so and leave it open for them to convince you why you must believe what they're saying is true.
Another good way to challenge their lies is to let them respond with just a yes or no. Because sometimes people hide lies in these ramblings and verbose conversations about occurrences that are absolutely unnecessary. Finally, what do you do when you catch your spouse or your partner lying to you is to have an honest conversation with them.
Try and get to the bottom of why they're unhappy or they feel like they can't tell you the truth. And let them know that you appreciate the truth as opposed to a lie that can only hurt you even more down the line. It's time to have honest conversations and open up, sometimes confrontations will only let people recoil and they will not open up at all.
Level with them. Let them see reason. Let them understand how this lie is affecting you as a partner.
If you want an honest response, take your time and tell them how you honestly feel and how the lie is hurting you to your core. And where all else fails, seek professional counseling.